Sometimes I fall silent, withdrawing quietly in reflection. I’m quiet, outwardly I don’t say much, inwardly my head chatters like a radio scanner. Chatter overlapping chatter, internal dialogue, an overactive need to fix any and everything today and five years from now and impossibly things that have passed. I have the chatter of self-talk running rampant. An underlayer of guides trying to guide my haphazard ass into a direction I can’t quite grasp. It would be a hell of a lot easier if they didn’t speak in symbols or as I call it code haha. Beaver, beaver, turtle, feather, and some dimes. Sure, yeah I know exactly what that means.
Cryptic dreams, the messages that just couldn’t. A dream of trying to sleep and dream but getting woke up constantly and trying to go back to sleep in real life and the dream a hazy recall of symbols in the dream within the dream. Sometimes there’s the dream that could too much. I once had a dream within a dream within a dream and remember the dreams. This was not a false awakening but rather I was dreaming and went to bed and dreamed and then went to bed in that dream and dreamed. I had two different dreams occurring within the original dream.
Tonight the chatter is real. I hope soon to hush the buzz and hum when I go to bed, but I think maybe messages are waiting. My tv shut off on its own earlier, I would assume it was a fluke were it not for the fact my mom’s tv just glitched the day before. Plus, I have that feeling that impression of being watched, the feeling of a patient person who can not be seen waiting for a talk, I have been ignoring it for a few days, but it seems to be important. At this point, I suspect it is my dad or close family, hopefully, I can get in that sleeping space to talk. I may struggle with communication when awake, but I am blessed that under the right circumstances I can have a two-way conversation in a sleep state. Goodnight, good day, everyone I hope that your messages come in clearer and that your dreams are good and that your day is even better.