Mom stopped by today for a wee visit. She wanted a little trim and I was going to give it to her. It occurred to me as we began to snip away that maybe she is feeling a little bold and maybe I just need to nudge a little. She gives me the go-ahead to do what I want, we can go a little shorter. So, I decided to take her up on it. Sometimes you just need something new, something different, and a little more freeing. I get my absurdly thick coarse hair from her, so I know full well what Summer with a mane like that entails and Summer is on its way fast. We go from a few warm days around here to cooler to blazing hot hellfire and furious heat. We don’t get a period of adjustment it’s like a nice Cool 50s or 60s to hot humid 90s and above.
I decided to give her some hair that is no fuss and low maintenance and cool for the Summer. We did a major chop, I ended up giving her a long pixie. Her hair was past her shoulders and she ended up losing a solid 8 inches when all was said and done. Cutting hair is a lot of fun for me, but I have all but quit cosmetology school at this point. Life has been quite ridiculous with its curveballs and roadblocks and after a while, you have to think to yourself, maybe I am headed in the wrong direction because I seem to keep getting interference. The truth is as well while I enjoy cutting hair and I am good at it, oddly I don’t enjoy coloring or styling processes. I had thought that would be what I enjoyed being as I am an artist and it seemed a way to create. Something about it is not fulfilling for me as far as a career or job. It isn’t a total loss though I’ll always be able to give my kids every cut they ever want and color if they really want it. I will always have the memory of giving my dad his very last haircut ever. The school served its purpose by moving and shaking things in my life that had been stagnant for too long. I rebuilt my confidence and sparked my life as a whole. I had become so lost in life and not living, I lost all faith in myself and it pushed me so far outside of my comfort zone that I grew and remembered parts of myself I had long lost. Sometimes it isn’t about finishing something but more about starting it.
We get too comfortable in routines and not taking chances that we slow our growth and sometimes it stills completely. You will never get out of a rut if you don’t do something different, try new things, change something. It sounds crazy but something as simple as a haircut can be growth, you can rebuild confidence that way. Have you ever seen someone who gets a haircut and it is like their personality is lifted as if the weight of their hair has now stopped weighing them down? I’ve shaved my head for most of the last year, and it is definitely a growth experience, it taught me to stop caring about others’ opinions. It teaches you to be comfortable in your own skin, you can’t create a barrier behind a curtain of hair and you have to see yourself. People ask rude questions, make assumptions, and say not nice things and you get over it, you grow a thicker skin and you love yourself a little more. It is never just a haircut, it is never just anything, small changes ripple into bigger changes and I love that about life.
Confessions of a Haunting Freak 